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Q&A: How long have you been married or together?
Marriage After a Spinal Cord Injury
I will be married 25 years in three months. I was married eight months at the time of the accident. Initially, I really thought he should leave, why ruin two lives. We were only married eight months, this is not your responsibility, and he wouldn’t go. Lucky me!
I have been married for over two years now, two years and a couple of months. I’ll say two years.
We met in high school, we were friends before his injury, and then he had his injury, and I just felt a strong feeling to go and visit him in the hospital. And so, I visited him when he was in intensive care, and then we just continued through his rehab, visiting every once in a while, and then continued in high school and our friendship got stronger.
I’ve been married for a little over nine years now.
Been married going on 36 years. I went back to college, finished college, started working and then met—well, my wife and I, our relationship was on again off again. She ultimately moved from North Carolina to Colorado, her dad—but ultimately, we reconnected, we decided to get married and I did not meet my father in law until the wedding.
So Faith and I have been together for 19 years. Interviewer: And when did you get married? 1996, our fifth anniversary.
We fell in love while I was a student, and dated for a number of years—far too many in my opinion— and ended up getting married in 19...this is our twenty-sixth year...in 1984.
I've been married 16 years. She's still here with me, you know, which is, which is, which is a big thing because it's a pretty traumatic situation to go through. And you know, we've obviously, had our difficulties, but I know she loves me to death.
I'm married. My wife and I were friends in high school, never dated in high school, were just friends in high school. We ended up going to the same community college, and during that time, our friendship turned into a relationship. We dated for six years, all through college, and then after I graduated from college, then we were married that summer. We've been married now for six-and-a-half years, which I can't believe it's already that long. It's been great, I mean, it's definitely, for us, a big part of our relationship is really kind of communicating, and you know, talking about, you know, issues she may have or that I may have. It's definitely, we can't avoid the fact, that you know, that I'm in a wheelchair, I have a spinal-cord injury, and there is stuff that comes along with that. Early on, we really had to talk about how that had an effect on the relationship and, you know, how it could slow things down, or kind of hinder activities. But, we did a really good job of communicating, we're very open with each other, very open about how she felt and also very open about how I felt, and it's worked, it's worked out really well. We have a very strong relationship and we get along great—she puts up with a lot of my crap.
25-years in a row, and it's wonderful, I mean it's still fun. It's like being married to my best friend. He's a great guy, he really is.
So, I’ve been married 12 years. So, my wife and I had our first date in the hospital. We had actually planned to see each other on a Wednesday, and I had my accident on Sunday, and so she met me in the hospital that Wednesday. It was the first time I’d seen her in a number of years, and then we were married the following December, six months later, and we’ve been together 12 years. When I was acutely injured, and ultimately us getting married, I went through a phase where she was of no significance to me. And I actually had to—it concerned me to the degree that I saw someone professionally about it while I was in the hospital. And he explained to me that “your brain is shutting down aspects that aren’t as important right now, and ultimately it will, what was there will come back.” And one day it did, I mean to the degree that I blinked, and I said, “wow, where have you been?” And she said, “well, I’ve been right here.” And so, even today I mean we don’t have any regrets in that respect. It has not been easy, just from the things, like she has to mow the grass. But at the same time, I think the irony being that the family that I have I wouldn’t have without the incident occurring in my life. And so, you know, would I love to have my life now as an able-bodied person? Absolutely, but I wouldn’t necessarily give up the life that I have for anything.
It will be five years in September. We actually met at a conference in Washington, D.C., and we started talking long distance for—at that time I was traveling a lot for my job and so we happened, you know, I was lucky enough to either stop or come to Chicago, or stop through Chicago, or we always made it a point, you know, we'd try to get together, or he would come visit me in California. So we did long distance for two years, and that was a long two years so.
We have been married just over two years; we were actually married just three months before Ryan’s accident. It is not what we pictured our first year of marriage looking like, but we had been together for about six-and-a-half years before we were married. So, we’d known each other pretty well at the time, so really it was—it’s not what we expected, but we were a team, and we are a team, so we helped each other through it.