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Tricia – What’s important for family and friends to understand?

Tricia – What’s important for family and friends to understand?

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I don’t think they necessarily have to understand the details of what’s going on, but sometimes I get a lot of, “Well, all you had to do was ask for help, and we would have helped you.”  But you, I don’t know when w... Show More

I don’t think they necessarily have to understand the details of what’s going on, but sometimes I get a lot of, “Well, all you had to do was ask for help, and we would have helped you.”  But you, I don’t know when we were going through this what I needed.  I don’t always know, or didn’t always know.  If someone had said to me, “What can I do for you?” I didn’t know the answer to that at the time.  And as much as you want to tell somebody, “Well, come vacuum my house,” you know what I mean?—you just don’t do it, vacuuming the house is the last thing on my mind at the time.  But, just having people offer was amazing, but the people who actually just did.  You know, my neighbors all got together and rotated dinners three days-a-week for us for six months.  You know, that was huge.  I mean, we asked them to stop when he came home after three months, they said, “No, we’re just going to keep going with it.”  That in itself, because three meals, you know, three times a week probably went further than three meals when you have people donating this.  It was just a huge, huge help to—and I didn’t do anything, I mean the neighbors took care of it.  You know what I mean?—I didn’t have to worry about that stuff.  You know, the grocery shopping—I had friends who went and picked up groceries, and dropped them off, that kind of stuff.  Just not having to say what you need, or people would get upset too if you couldn’t tell them what to do, or couldn’t tell them when they could do it.  It was just, if it worked out, that was the best for me anyway.  I’m sure there’s other people who are scheduled, and want to know when someone’s taking care of things.  But for me it was just people stepping up without me, having to say anything. 

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Tricia – What’s important for family and friends to understand?

Tricia

Partner or spouse injured in 2007 at age 42, paraplegic
More Videos by Tricia
Transcriptadd

I don’t think they necessarily have to understand the details of what’s going on, but sometimes I get a lot of, “Well, all you had to do was ask for help, and we would have helped you.”  But you, I don’t know when we were going through this what I needed.  I don’t always know, or didn’t always know.  If someone had said to me, “What can I do for you?” I didn’t know the answer to that at the time.  And as much as you want to tell somebody, “Well, come vacuum my house,” you know what I mean?—you just don’t do it, vacuuming the house is the last thing on my mind at the time.  But, just having people offer was amazing, but the people who actually just did.  You know, my neighbors all got together and rotated dinners three days-a-week for us for six months.  You know, that was huge.  I mean, we asked them to stop when he came home after three months, they said, “No, we’re just going to keep going with it.”  That in itself, because three meals, you know, three times a week probably went further than three meals when you have people donating this.  It was just a huge, huge help to—and I didn’t do anything, I mean the neighbors took care of it.  You know what I mean?—I didn’t have to worry about that stuff.  You know, the grocery shopping—I had friends who went and picked up groceries, and dropped them off, that kind of stuff.  Just not having to say what you need, or people would get upset too if you couldn’t tell them what to do, or couldn’t tell them when they could do it.  It was just, if it worked out, that was the best for me anyway.  I’m sure there’s other people who are scheduled, and want to know when someone’s taking care of things.  But for me it was just people stepping up without me, having to say anything. 

Tricia – What’s important for family and friends to understand?
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