Sue – What’s gotten harder over time?

I would say the realization that my son's not going to live his full life. He's not going to live, which, you know—my step dad died when he was 49 from a massive heart attack, and I can accept that because it wasn't an accident. This, however, came from an accident and I so grateful for having him; he could have died on the scene. And, I'm very grateful for having him, but I'm watching him deteriorate and it's so hard. When the accident first happened, all his muscles, and all of his bones and joints were where they were supposed to be. As time goes on, you don't use those muscles, your bones and your joints start to come out of place, nothing you can do about it. Your spine starts to curve—I tried, and tried and tried all the exercises in the world: hanging him upside down, curving his back the opposite way. He didn't have to have a spine (surgery) right away, but he had to have it four years later. I was able to hold off for those four years, but ultimately he still needed it. No matter what I do, my son is going to deteriorate. Look at Christopher Reeve, he died from a pressure ulcer; he had all the nursing care in the world. What's going to be is going to be, and that's the hardest thing. My son, he might die tomorrow, he might live another 10-20 years, but ultimately he's not going to live to be what he could have lived to be—89 years old. And, I 'm going to see him deteriorate, I will live longer than him more than likely. I will see his life getting worse and him going through more pain. I have to be strong enough for that, that's going to be so hard.