Molly – How did you deal with the transition from hospital to home?

Going home was really hard.  And, I think that I thought it was going to be this big, happy thing.  I was going to slide back into my normal routine, and be with my friends, and go back to school and it was all going to be fine.  And, I completely under estimated the challenge that it was going to be.  And, the hardest part was that I got home and there were all these things that were different that I didn’t even think of.  I remember one of the first nights I was home, everyone got up to clear the table, and I was like, “Oh my God, I can’t even clear the table, I can’t help myself, I can’t help anyone else.”  I felt like a really big burden, especially to my family.  I hadn’t anticipated all the small things like that, that were going to make me feel that way.  Just things being moved in the house and everything set up differently.  I didn’t anticipate everything was going to be different, and that was really hard getting back into that.  My room got totally redone.  There was an elevator put in my house and it goes right up into my room.  That was just great, but when I got back all my stuff had been moved around, and the carpet was taken out and it looked different.  My dad said, “Now, how do you want the walls painted?”  And I was like, “The exact same.”  I wanted everything as close to it as was, as it could be. But, there was no way to recreate how everything was before.